Readers who are also dedicated adventurers and travellers will recognise and fully understand the detours and unexpected interruptions that are the ‘norm’ for all journeys. ‘The best made plans of mice and men!’ In my last blog post I talked of pot-holes — of all sizes and shapes. Some can be avoided by a quick swerve, but others prove deceptively deep and difficult (if not impossible) to escape from. Such a one appeared ominously in my path this week.
A recent CT scan revealed an unwanted and most unwelcome small lesion in my brain. I’m told the earliest changes this intruder is likely to introduce to my world are some visual problems and increasing headaches. The good news is that I’m not a headache sufferer, and so far, all is good except for a vertical block loss of some peripheral vision. This messes with my judgement of avoiding obstacles on my sides when walking (particularly my left, and syncing between my brain’s messages to my fingers when typing on my computer keyboard. Luckily, individual keys are clear, as is my computer screen. So I must concentrate on putting my fingers on the correct keys when I start, then all is good for this old touch-typist (uhrr… maybe a few more typos than usual— grrr… If I start on the wrong keys, I invent a whole new language… (clever?!?) All adds up to heaps of corrections (which I passionately must correct). Urhh, mostly, until I get fed up or lazy, or both.
All of this is taking a lot of time, as well as ultimate concentration… but I’m getting there, and much practice should make a difference. If I can keep my creativity at a happy level, I’ll be well pleased… and blessed!
Pain levels are well-controlled and sleeping well with help of Bowen therapy sessions and some lovely supportive medicos (not including my new oncologist replacing my lovely first one who took up another position interstate, sadly… (loved her)). I have named this one my OINK-ologist because he’s a pig of a man and his attitude was ‘if you don’t do chemo or radiotherapy… you’re just a waste of my time!’ Charming, huh? Also suggested I not wait too long to change my mind about ‘going it alone’, like when I’m bedridden with pain and collapsed spine and can’t walk any more! Good news week, hey? He also raised eyebrows in a disgusted look about Bowen therapy and other exercise and breathing expansion I planned to try to help myself. As you can imagine, I’ve divorced him. Actually, think he did me a great favour — my backbone and determination have increased immeasurably since those words! Good news is that all other medicos I’m involved with are fantastic. So helpful, caring and supportive. I wonder if they know what an old-fashioned ‘bedside manner’ is, and how much difference it makes to sad and sagging spirits. Most times, it looks as though they’ve concentrated on terrible, unreadable handwriting at ‘doctor’ school.
Speaking of hand-writing, my other fantastic development and ‘good news’ is that my much beloved and treasured longhand, cursive writing is still a skill of beauty, affording me much pleasure and pride. It’s just tremendously slow compared to my skilful yesterdays, but you can still feel the love, hey?
I realise one must accept limitations and lessened abilities of age and/or disease (or for some, tragic accidents) — all of which change everything, and must cause detours in the route of any journey, wherever and however it be taken.
To quote a popular expression of today, , ‘IT IS WHAT IT IS’ and as such, the quicker we accept our altered realities (as opposed to our hopes and dreams and wishes), the happier and healthier we are.
For me, this particular Christmas has been exceptionally challenging and difficult up until a day or two ago when I made a decision to concentrate on, and accept, my new direction, my new status ‘quo’, and choose to attempt to create a really great Christmas 2022. I’ve promised myself to start early with lots of my most beloved Christmas decorations and make the most cheerful Chrissie home possible, taking all the extra time and concentration I need these days.
I think my blog posts in the interim will be shorter, but hopefully continuing in my most positive fashion.
I have so many dear friends praying and wishing me the very best. Failure of the dedication of my heart and soul is not an option I will ever accept or embrace.
Our world and its people have endured such unhappy years recently!
Just for a change, let’s make 2022 a good one, hey?
OMP Admin Note: Christine Larsen is a writer, farmer, wife, mother, and grandmother from Australia. She has never been homeless or had significant cancer – yet – but has had exposure to both – creating a great sense of empathy and desire to help in any way she can. She is humbled by the opportunity to give one of her stories to the sincerely worthwhile causes of Cancer research and Homelessness.
Christine contributed A Bonny Wee Lassie to the One Million Project: Fiction anthology.
To find out more about Christine and her work:
Christine Larsen, Author
Our short story anthologies written by over 100 writers are now available (links below) with all proceeds being donated to the charity organizations our group supports.
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