BEHIND THE SHADOWS~~by Christine Larsen

Dream-writing in the shadow of my hand.
lighting the darker corners of my mind.
Will I find hidden treasures?
Maybe… just around the corner.
Will I find memories there?
Feel the bi-polar swings of extremities of happy;
of sad?
Over and ever again?
Sometimes they stumble, near fall;
others they flow, waltz, harmonise,
and lift spirits beyond high.
Such is this day,
this blessed moment.

It’s a ‘re-charge of batteries’ day I’m giving myself after a yesterday that zapped my reserves…

physically, mentally, and most of all, emotionally.

“How can you be SO strong, ALL the time? some ask, truly believing the smiling face, the spirited voice and demeanour.

Such an actress sometimes.

Yet another learning curve on this trying, tortuous path, painfully passing through this tangled field of cancer weeds.

Though I walk alone in many ways, I am surrounded by well-wishes and prayers… and more than any of these… LOVE!

Do they ALL carry candles, these dear heart loves… causing a tsunami of a glow to safely, comfortingly, enfold me?

Would they truly suggest I alone am responsible for my creativity?

NO apologies when I reply insistently with a resounding ‘NO WAY!!’

Would those dear hearts also wish to share my lows?

They DO happen… like yesterday, resulting in a decent flow of tears and a snuffly outpouring of doubts and fears. But, as always, my cavalry arrived. This time, my ‘fighting’ forces took the form of —

  • a long and lovely cuddle on the lounge by my dear ‘Old McLarsen’ — hubby of 56 years;
  • a copious handful of tissues;
  • more pain meds;
  • three (yes, 3!) microwaveable gel ‘hottie’ packs for strategic areas of greatest discomfort;
  • careful and most caring, superb surveillance by one cat and one dog;
  • and always and ever,
  • the serious inner care and support from MICA (my inner ‘warrior’ child);
  • and this cast of thousands (hmm… bit of an exaggeration!) — of my caring’ loves’.

The catalyst of this’ ‘low’ (or meltdown) presented the latest need for adjustment to my ‘pacing’ as I deal with the ‘good, the bad and the ugly’ of my journey.

I find it tremendously important — and most helpful, to be as prepared as possible for these ‘downers’… and accept them for exactly what I just described — a time to recharge. We all need that, no matter what we’re facing. A favourite saying (if I haven’t shared it before) is —

‘Don’t put the keys to your happiness in someone else’s pocket’

OMP Admin Note: Christine Larsen is a writer, farmer, wife, mother, and grandmother from Australia. She is humbled by the opportunity to give one of her stories to the sincerely worthwhile causes of Cancer research and Homelessness.

Christine contributed A Bonny Wee Lassie to the One Million Project: Fiction anthology.

To find out more about Christine and her work:

ceedee moodling  (Christine’s website)

Christine Larsen, Author

 – on Wattpad

–  on Facebook

– on Tablo

– on Amazon

Old McLarsen had some Farms (farming memoirs)

ceedee4kids (Christine’s children’s book site)

Our short story anthologies written by over 100 writers are now available (links below) with all proceeds being donated to the charity organizations our group supports.

If you are a Kindle Unlimited member, you can read the complete anthology for FREE, and KU proceeds are donated along with the proceeds from the sale of our anthologies.

Our volunteer authors love to see reviews, and every review helps to make the One Million Project’s books more visible to Amazon customers, assisting us in our mission to raise One Million Pounds / Dollars for EMMAUS Homeless Programs and Cancer Research UK.



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